Don’t look at me like that, turning your head to the side al “aaaw” and ready to coo and comfort me. I am a bit distracted from lack of sleep, but that’s all. Not like I’ve had three weeks of dentist’s visits with extractions and root canals and the associated neck-spraining contortions or anything serious like that. I’ve been busy, is all.

So, the Wikileaks dipomatic cable data. Careful cryptanalysis of communications between Australia and Austria, uncomfortable neighbours in the Alphabetical Order, reveals that Canberra warned Vienna against synechdoche and contagion. The main thrust of the messages is the importance of protecting MittelEuropa from “circular patterns of play”, and I am guessing they don’t mean frisbees, hula-hoops and angle grinders, but something more sinister and primal.

Secondary analyses of tertiary patterns in the Australian-Austrian cables, however, draw a different picture. It appears that those texts have been planted by a mole, and they aren’t a warning but an invitation for Austrian infiltrees to take Melbourne’s urban codemaking and transplant it to their own Museum Quarter. There is a Fifth Column in their ranks, and it’s copying our game.

What, you say? All invention? Circular logic? Read the cables for yourself!

What, you say? All invention? The leaked cables are only from American Embassies? Oops, you got me there. Ok. But that doesn’t change my conclusion: there is going to be a ring of play this week in the Melbourne CBD, and the circles will confound you.

Sorry for the short post. I can’t sit here and type for long; the guy running this net cafe may have recognised me and phoned the authorities. Or maybe I am typing this from the beach, feet in the sand and head in a sunhat. How would you know?